Living in survivalist environments can feel very hard. This is because the sense of lack in such environments fuels the need to make choices focused on survival rather than abundance. A survival mentality can also restrict the level of emotional development since managing emotions is not a skill that is prioritized and learned at any stage.
This leads to a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms, one of which is projection, where complex, dense emotions are pushed outside onto someone else to avoid taking responsibility for them. The person on the receiving end is also not emotionally mature and cannot discern their emotions from others. This leads them to take responsibility for emotions that are not their own. We will call the first type of person 'pusher' and the second 'receiver'. An example of projection is the case where a pusher projects unworthiness by labeling the actions and choices of the receiver as mediocre or wrong and following it up with punishments such as withholding the receiver's desires.
The core of this comes from the childhood environment, where (usually) a parent projects continuously on a child during their formative years, reinforcing these patterns. The child now carries it forward either by becoming a pusher themselves or by becoming a receiver. Since they both run in the same (energetic) circles, the pushers have an almost spidey sense, which helps them detect receivers and keep them entangled in the same dynamics. This is essential to the pushers since they have an almost compulsive need to get rid of the emotion, and they can only get this satisfaction from a receiver who accepts it as their own. These are vicious cycles passed on inter-generationally until it is identified and broken.
The primary reason these emotions are complicated to fully face and acknowledge is they carry within them a fundamental illusion that these emotions are 'bad' and the person experiencing them has an issue that must be 'fixed'. For instance, if rage is projected, the receiver might feel like they are an angry person, and this needs to be changed to make them a better person. The pushers avoid this and adopt a holier-than-thou persona by insisting they are better because they don't have these flaws but, deep inside, feel the same as the receiver. What they both need to realize is that there is no 'flaw' to begin with. Intense, complex emotions can indicate an imbalance or wounding that needs to be looked at more deeply (possibly due to projection or other types of wounding/trauma). But sometimes, this could even be a healthy response to a situation, like feeling angry when someone tries to cross our boundaries. (The basic difference between the two is in the first, emotions control us, while in the second, we use emotions to navigate our lives.) Either way, our inherent worthiness is always fixed. We are not defined by our emotions or thoughts. The healing comes in when this underlying truth is illuminated.
These patterns are hard to detect because they are deeply embedded in the subconscious. Paying close attention to our feelings is a way to discern if this is happening. Here are some signs to help lead the way.
For receivers:
Do you feel a swift reversal in the emotional state after interacting with certain people, such as feeling miserable or discouraged, etc., while you felt happy and confident a moment ago?
Do you feel like you end up in many situations where you are unjustly accused of certain behaviors or lack?
Do you feel guilt or shame, and despite the apparent unjustness somehow responsible for what you are being accused of?
Does this impact the way you feel about yourself?
Have you been in a similar situation during childhood, i.e., do these feelings seem familiar?
For pushers:
Do you find yourself in many situations where you get highly triggered and feel very uncomfortable?
Does someone around you experience the same emotions after interacting with you, usually when you accuse them of some behavior or action (this could be passive-aggressive) ?
Do you feel a temporary sense of relief when the person you accused of certain behaviors accepts responsibility, only to feel triggered all over again the next time?
Have a parent in your childhood treated you the way you are treating others? Do you feel like you have become one of your parents?
Figuring out if these patterns exist in your life and healing them can be a complex process, and it is essential to remember that you are not responsible for the pattern itself; it was passed down to you. You are only responsible for healing and releasing them. During this process, the receivers (especially) would go through a lot of anger and resentment at the energy that was pushed on them. Do not return it to the sender; instead, try to transmute it and return it back to the source. Any bad energy sent to anyone, irrespective of how fair it may seem, would have karmic repercussions and will boomerang back to you. It is also important to note that nothing is 'wrong' with you; there is nothing to be fixed, only patterns and cycles to break so you can lead a life where you are not trapped within a reality you didn't create consciously.
Hope this helps :).
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